Three years in, I’m discovering the difference between loving a culture and living in it.
Paris, ah Paris. I moved back here 3 years ago, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, confident to take on my new world and life. I mean, I spoke pretty fluent French, knew which utensil was used for what course or animal/vegetable/other, and I already had French friends. It was an easy slam dunk, right?
Omg, so wrong.
As a Feng Shui consultant, I’ve spent years helping people understand how their surroundings affect their energy. But living in Paris has reminded me that even an environment we love can exhaust us.
And that’s something worth considering, wherever you live.
My love affair with Paris began when my cousins introduced me to classic French movies on VHS tapes. Small Change, The 400 Blows, Love on the Run. Who were these elegant people? Why were they so sulky and brooding? What “je ne sais quoi” did they have that I didn’t? I was hooked.
Fast forward a few French amants and years later, I enrolled in my college’s Paris study abroad program. What was supposed to be 6 months turned into 18. I was lonely and miserable, but still adored this darn city. My dream of returning never died.
And here I am, 30, ahem, odd years later.
Last month, I “celebrated” living in Paris for 3 years. I’m still in awe of the beauty, culture and architecture, but I’m also navigating the French healthcare system, the local post office, and dining hours. I now regularly eat dinner at 20h or 21h, aka 8 or 9pm. So late for my little American belly!
I love the quieter tempo of France and the quirkiness of Parisian streets and the variable French “humeurs,” aka moods. But what I hadn’t anticipated was how much energy this new environment would demand.
Being an energizer bunny, I thought I could take on the world. But if the world is in a different culture and language, man, that cuts my energy in half. Navigating friendships and building my European branch of my business takes another 25% of my battery. Later eating and socializing schedules, plus the time difference between the US and Europe, chip away another 10%.
So should it surprise me that at the end of the day, I’m usually left with 15% energy? And that’s assuming no cultural misunderstandings, lost packages, or invitations to an apéro dînatoire. Oy. I’m usually flat out on my couch. I’m tired. Really tired.
I have built my life here: a home, relationships, work and all. Fantastic, but gosh darn it, am I tired. I love my life, but it’s still exhausting. And believe me, the irony is not lost on me. I am my own Feng Shui client. I need my own help on the daily.
Because our environment isn’t just the four walls in which we live. It’s the people, culture, language, and pace of life around us. And sometimes even the environment we’ve dreamed of requires more of us than we expected. I’m still learning how to adapt without losing who I am in the process. It’s not an easy metamorphosis, but I’m liking what I’m seeing so far.
Perhaps that’s something worth considering in your own life, too. Is your environment supporting who you are today, or are you spending more energy adapting to it than you realize?
Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for a cup of tea and a nap.
