Quite recently, I discovered that I was Chinese.
Well, not exactly. I’ve always known that I was of Chinese descent, but it wasn’t always presented to me very clearly.
I probably discovered this very obvious phenomenon when I entered college. Having gone to a city college, I suddenly found myself surrounded by a sea of Asian students. For the first time, I felt connected to my heritage.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized this wasn’t just about being Chinese. It’s about how every family quietly shapes what we find beautiful, comforting and familiar.
Before college, I had grown up in a very middle class suburban neighborhood in Queens, NY, surrounded by my mostly non-Asian friends. So I adapted to my environment. I enjoyed pizza, pierogis, eggplant parm sandwiches as well as Chinese-Trinidadian food that was served at home.
Being from New York, I think it was very easy to be an environmental sponge, soaking up not only my family’s energy, but also the city’s energy. With the hustle and bustle of every day, we’re just kind of running through the proverbial rat race, adapting as we move through our days.
I know a lot of people who grew up in households that weren’t anying like what they experienced in their everyday world. When my best friend would come over, you bet your bottom dollar that she would smell yummy aromas, coming from the kitchen where my dad was always cooking while my mom was tending to her incredible balcony oasis, chock full of winter melon.
How about you – did you come from a household where people spoke a different language than the one of where you lived? And when I say a “different language,” it can be an actual language – English, Spanish, Chinese – but that language can also be the language every family develops . For example, did your parents speak alot or not much? Was food their love language or were they more about playing music at all times? Those are all languages that we consciously or unconsciosly pick up.
In Feng Shui, our environment really does affect who we are and who we become. And as I mentioned above, our environment is not just our current home. Our current home is an extension of everything that we’ve learned up until that point. And that includes our family unit.
I rememeber noticing some beautiful tea sets in a client’s home. When I asked her about it, she mentioned that her mom was British, a very big tea drinker, and that my client had inherited her collections and preference for tea. As a result, we needed to take into consideration the space we needed to create for her inherited hobby and objects.
So the next time you go and visit a family member or someone that you grew up with, take a look around their home. Do you notice anything similar or different from your style? Is there anything that they proudly display? It’s very interesting to see how you can be subconsciously influenced and what that means in your daily life. Maybe you always buy the best quality because your parents always bought the cheapest. Or maybe you always buy what’s on sale even if you don’t love it.
So how did your family environment influence you, your home and your current environment? What parts have you intentionally kept and what parts have you intentionally left behind?
If you visited my apartment, you’d probably notice that I have alot of plants. My parents’ green thumbs were passed down to me and I love how fast plants make a space feel nurturing and lived in. You’ll probably also notice that I don’t have many Chinese decorations as my childhood home was bursting (and still is!) at the seams with lunar calendars, statues for protection and Chinese trinkets. Oh and I also love silence. It’s a beautiful contrast to the busy and hectic home that I grew up in. So here, I am Chinese, having chosen which parts of my heritage to carry forward and it’s decidedly a plant and flower imbued sanctuary. Thanks mom and dad!
After looking around your space, what will you thank your family for?
